Literature - Thenewwatcher

Literature

How Oizys, Greek Goddess of Misery, Spends Her Sundays

How Oizys, Greek Goddess of Misery, Spends Her Sun...

1 day ago 22

My Prediction That Political Attacks Against Me Will Escalate Has Nothing to Do With Me Exposing Myself to a Flight Attendant

My Prediction That Political Attacks Against Me Wi...

1 day ago 26

Diseases All Woodmont Alumni from 1971 to 2021 Should Immediately Be Screened For

Diseases All Woodmont Alumni from 1971 to 2021 Sho...

1 day ago 21

Babies Need to Pull Themselves Up by Their Tiny Bootstraps

Babies Need to Pull Themselves Up by Their Tiny Bo...

1 day ago 21

This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us, Partner—So I’ll Just Leave Then. Enjoy the Town!

This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us, Part...

2 days ago 20

Dorm Room Checklist for New Woodmont Students

Dorm Room Checklist for New Woodmont Students

2 days ago 31

I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Guilt Lessons and Other Poems

I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Gui...

2 days ago 20

I Regret to Inform You That I Can Get Pregnant with My Legs Closed

I Regret to Inform You That I Can Get Pregnant wit...

2 days ago 32

A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem

A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride ...

3 days ago 36

Excerpts from Successful Admissions Essays for Woodmont College

Excerpts from Successful Admissions Essays for Woo...

3 days ago 52

The Great Lakes Gatsby

The Great Lakes Gatsby

4 days ago 40

Woodmont College Commencement FAQ

Woodmont College Commencement FAQ

4 days ago 24

I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Buqjah

I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Buq...

4 days ago 29

This Woman Perfectly Illustrates What It’s Like to Have No Artistic Abilities Whatsoever

This Woman Perfectly Illustrates What It’s Like to...

4 days ago 53

The Believer Is Coming Home

The Believer Is Coming Home

5 days ago 36

Poseiden, God of the Sea, Has the “Talk” with His Son, Percy Jackson

Poseiden, God of the Sea, Has the “Talk” with His ...

5 days ago 28

What Is a Woodmont Education?

What Is a Woodmont Education?

5 days ago 36

A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage

A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Sho...

1 week ago 38

Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children

Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Consider...

1 week ago 41

Please Don’t Make Me Write a Think Piece about How Unbanning Trump from Twitter Would Actually Be a Triumph for Freedom

Please Don’t Make Me Write a Think Piece about How...

1 week ago 42

The Adventures of Nancy Drew, Girl Academic

The Adventures of Nancy Drew, Girl Academic

1 week ago 24

Boar’s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus

Boar’s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus

1 week ago 30

Other Rights the Supreme Court Will Get Rid of Because They Aren’t Deeply Rooted in History and Tradition

Other Rights the Supreme Court Will Get Rid of Bec...

1 week ago 44

Share Your Experiences about the Rapid City, South Dakota, Book Ban

Share Your Experiences about the Rapid City, South...

1 week ago 42

A Brief and True History of Murder

A Brief and True History of Murder

1 week ago 34

Please Respect My Right to Privacy While I Completely Destroy Yours

Please Respect My Right to Privacy While I Complet...

1 week ago 44

I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: A Small, Embarrassing Triumph

I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: A S...

1 week ago 40

A Reimagining of Your Uterus, Which I, Elon Musk, Now Own

A Reimagining of Your Uterus, Which I, Elon Musk, ...

1 week ago 38

For Bodily Autonomy Reasons, I Now Identify as a Corpse

For Bodily Autonomy Reasons, I Now Identify as a C...

1 week ago 51

I’m the Producer of This Biopic and Here’s Why We Made It Despite Objections from the Subject, Their Family, and the General Public

I’m the Producer of This Biopic and Here’s Why We ...

1 week ago 46

Quiz: Are You Experiencing “Mommy Brain”?

Quiz: Are You Experiencing “Mommy Brain”?

2 weeks ago 43

Short Conversations with Poets: Robert Pinsky

Short Conversations with Poets: Robert Pinsky

2 weeks ago 55

Happy Non-Optional Legally Mandated State-Enforced Mother’s Day

Happy Non-Optional Legally Mandated State-Enforced...

2 weeks ago 39

Our Response to Rapid City, South Dakota’s Plans to Destroy a Slew of Recent Novels and Memoirs

Our Response to Rapid City, South Dakota’s Plans t...

2 weeks ago 44

Talking Heads Lyrics, or Words My Kid Strings Together at Bedtime Instead of Falling Asleep at a Reasonable Hour?

Talking Heads Lyrics, or Words My Kid Strings Toge...

2 weeks ago 40

I Am Your Marxist Hamster, and You, Land-Owning Pig, Are the Bourgeoisie

I Am Your Marxist Hamster, and You, Land-Owning Pi...

2 weeks ago 42

On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor

On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Co...

2 weeks ago 40

Short Conversations with Poets: Hayan Charara

Short Conversations with Poets: Hayan Charara

2 weeks ago 45

A Fundraising Email from the Galactic Senate Majority Leader

A Fundraising Email from the Galactic Senate Major...

2 weeks ago 44

We’re the Supreme Court, and We Should Have Used Protection

We’re the Supreme Court, and We Should Have Used P...

2 weeks ago 49

I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Nulligravida

I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Nul...

2 weeks ago 45

Thank You, Teachers. Here’s a Piece of Candy Glued to Cardstock

Thank You, Teachers. Here’s a Piece of Candy Glued...

2 weeks ago 40

Short Conversations with Poets: Rachel Mannheimer

Short Conversations with Poets: Rachel Mannheimer

2 weeks ago 47

Welcome to the Middle-Aged Restaurant. Please Stop Complaining

Welcome to the Middle-Aged Restaurant. Please Stop...

2 weeks ago 49

Our Bus Stop: A Play by Thornton Wilder

Our Bus Stop: A Play by Thornton Wilder

2 weeks ago 53

Forgiving Student Debt Is the Right Thing to Do, Which Is Why I, Mitt Romney, Am Against It

Forgiving Student Debt Is the Right Thing to Do, W...

3 weeks ago 51

Honest Office Haiku

Honest Office Haiku

3 weeks ago 58

We Are Not a Diet Company

We Are Not a Diet Company

3 weeks ago 54

In Our Own Time: One Couple’s Fertility Journey: Part V: The Transfer

In Our Own Time: One Couple’s Fertility Journey: P...

3 weeks ago 52

Fisher-Price Recalls the Deluxe Kick ’n Play Piano Gym for Having Too Many Bops

Fisher-Price Recalls the Deluxe Kick ’n Play Piano...

3 weeks ago 53

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